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KuroChoCho
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Name: MiZz KiLLa LipZz
Country: United States
State: California
Metro: Fremont
Birthday: 11/10/1987
Gender: Female
Interests:
_main interests
fashion design, japanese street fashion, hair styling, travel, asian culture, helping people
_eye candy
KERA, gothic & lolita bible, paradise lost, EGG, NUTS!, FRUiTS,
_ear candy
dir en grey, miyavi, MUCC, SADS, nightmare, mika nakashima, SOUL'd OUT, rhymester, kokeshi doll, mean machine, guitar wolf, tommy heavenly6, TMrevolution, chitose hajime, orange range, crystal kay, whiteberry, zone, baby bash, frankie J, nobody knows+ (they're hot!!!), ying yang twins, trillville, missy, luda TRANCE, DANCE MIXES, REGGAETON, HIPHOP...stuff to dance to..
_random interests
layers.. many layers, stitches, safety pins, needles, bondage, cuffs, pandas, clashing, mismatching, screaming, dancing, traveling, blood-guts-n-gore, randomness, taking pictures, ice cream, lipstick, lipgloss, biting, being myself and a whole lot of crazy.
_current obsession
frankie J! MIYAVI! all dem asian fellaz... HOLLA!
Expertise: i'm a face model, i like acting but only in movies... i HATE stage because of the snobby stage actors, write poetry, go shopping on melrose n beverly center n slausons, listen to music, be a total freak, photography, meeting new people, check`n out those hot asian fellaz and go to the beach n swim n surf!
Occupation: Other
Industry: Entertainment
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  xMizzKillaLipzx
Yahoo:  x_zetsubou_x
MSN: x_DirEnGrey_x@hotmail.com
Member Since:
6/13/2003
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| i'm born again.
i'm going to miss kenta, but i won't miss my old life.
I'M SINGLE AND SEARCHING FOR JAPANESE BOY!
‚ ‚½‚µ‚͔ގ‚¢‚é‚È‚¢`@“ú–{‚Ì’j‚ÌŽq—~‚µ‚¢‚Å‚·‚æI | | |
| theres a difference between addiction and obsession.
my obsessions are frankie J, miyavi, kenta <3, jawbreakers, ice cream and things i put my lips upon...
my addictions are cocaine and crystal meth.
now... where am i going with this?
i'm letting a negative mikko show when i let the addictions cover up my obsessions and make me not desire them as much. i fucked up yet again. i smoked crystal meth after TWO WHOLE MONTHS of being sober. i was weak towards it.... and what made it worse, is that i smoked HELLA to the dome.
i was so fucking high off dope that i sat on the tellie bed wit some homies... couldn't move, barely could talk and what i mumbled out was, "damn, i'm so fucking high". i couldn't think of anything else but being high off crystal. i wanted more.
one of my dearest and closest obsessions, kenta, is what i have forgotten while in this numb state of mind.
i totally scarred parts of my skin, and while i never spent any money on the dope, i still have no money and for the past 3 days now (trying to sober up) i've been haullucenating. i have failed to make another attempt to getting my money back from this guy whom i called a brah (diff. story, not bringing it up), i was blinded by this thoughts of something going to kill me while i was sleeping and bathing and even sewing. jeez... and then i saw it... THIS IS WHY I QUIT. that was the whole reason. because you FEAR for only yourself. and your emotions and reactions don't process and add up like it normally should.
i was paranoid as fuck when i thought up of two people talking about killing me in my hallway while talking on the phone wit jan.
then all of a sudden i felt like i was god. like i have no fear... "let him do whatever.. that bitch ...shoot me" that's what i said... jan told me i was talkin shiit... but if you think about it, i was talking shiit about an imaginary person. idiot.
after that, i went back to paranoid mode. thinking people were after me... i literally thought 10 cars full of headz were parked outside my house while i was taking a bath (to soak out the dope that is crystalized in the pores) and heard people talking about blowing up my house right at the bathroom window. damn wtf was i thinking?!
i started to come to my senses as the day progessed. but i was still trippin... even diana was telling me this and i've know this chicka for 3 whole years she lived wit me. she was like, "dude... i don't see people hiding in your twigs you call bushes... you're trippin mikko... you need to sleep or soemthing" *sigh* i didn't want to admit it so i was like, "oh yea, i see it *haha* my eyes are really sore from looking at this screen dude."
then the worse juss happened. it is my 3rd day recovering... and i was going to see kenta.. NOW it's been weeks since i've been saying i wanted to see him. i finally got a job and worked my ass off. i made 1G. yes, and if you want to know what the job is, ask me.
so with this G i gave it to bruhbrah, and he handled all the money.... apparently he didn't have it when i needed it... said he was going to mail it to me... i didn't get it. and kenta was getting yelled at by me and other people. poor baby didn't know what the hell was going on. he doesn't speak so much english.
so i was stressin about that shiit.. then i finally got my dad to purchase me a ticket to go see him anyways... i was totally stoked about it but my body language showed different. it showed me to be lazy and uncaring... i was sitting watching tv THINKING about going.. but i was still in my PJs. i finally got ready to go AFTER my mom yelled at me for rushing her... then she told me she didn't want to take me. i got sooo heated so quick.. i started to say shiit i didn't mean. started to shake.. like you knew the crystal was still in me. then i started crying... almost instantly. because i was equally stressed, fraustrated, sad, depressed, anxious and just a blend of all moods crystals gives you, i wanted to JUST see kenta. so i cried and cried and cried up til... what? one whole hour ago. i was yelling, screaming out the door, walking down the street, crying on the phone to two of my friends, falling on the floor... but i just couldn't control these emotions! i felt like i just wanted to DIE. i mean you know how you feel like your juss need your mind to faint or pass out? well my body did that while i was crying my eyes out.
i still feel horrible. because i can't contact kenta; his phone is off because he threw it against a wall angry at the whole scenerio that went on with bruhbrah. now, he doesn't know i couldn't leave the house, he doesn't know i did crystal, he doesn't know why..... he knows nothing. and i REALLY feel horrible. i lost that money because i trusted that man. i ruined my chances of going to LA tonight because i smoked HELLA dope to the dome after 2 months of being sober (which is highly dangerous if you ask me)
that was all jumble in my head... and i didn't know how to control it all with this doped out brain. i think i'm getting mentally numb.
if i had a friend here to talk to... i wouldn't do shiit like this... kenta's leaving for japan on the 6th. i'm losing my obsession. my love.
i want to fucking cry.
it's all my fault.
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Mikko‚Ì“ú–{Œê‚ͦ‚¢‚¾‚æ`‚ñ‚˃F@Î
ya nigguhz can't handle dis shiiiiiiit.
if ya'll wanna go to that website and meet japanese folks
you need to write and understand japanese.
GALBA COMMUNITY <---there
have fun kiddies.
♥,
_mikkoxoxoxxx | | |
| omfg! it's been foreverrrrrr and a freak`n day!!!
here's the skinny:
. angelica (me cousin) is visiting from SD
. i am skinnier than last seen
. yes, i still eat
. yes, i still do smoke
. still a picture whore
. got a whole lot tanner
. modeling career is going GREAT!
. becoming a RPG addict (legend of legia ROCKS!)
. horny
. i'm in the buildin` and i'm feel`n like yeeeeee
. move`n to LA later than i expected
. got back to my japanese profile HERE
. myspacerXcore HERE
. next modeling gig is in CANCUN!!!! in september!
. still in love
hm........... new pics on there way.. but if you wanna peep them before i actually post em... hit the myspace. alright well.. i'm glad to actually post again because it's been so long!!
late.
♥,
_mikkoxoxoxxx | | |
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